Stage show

Originally the stage show was the primary concern of strippers, before the influence of American style corporate strip clubs which changed the emphasis to private dancing. In the golden years of strip pubs, strippers could expect to make a reliable income from stage work only, and dancers often put a great deal of effort into their routines creatively. These days strip pubs are the only remaining venues where strippers can earn anything from stage shows because they can still do jug collections; in the vast majority of strip clubs dancers do not earn anything from stage work, and are expected to dance on stage for free, (usually on a rota of continuous dancers) to “showcase” themselves. Clubs argue that the dancers have a better chance of securing a private dance as the customer can “see the goods” on display first.The logic of this is undermined by the fact that dancers must conform to the stage rota – which can often mean having to leave a paying customer to rush on to the stage, do their dance and hope that their customer has not lost interest. In some of the large-scale chain clubs, there are several podiums and positions around the club on whichon which dancers are expected to take turns so there is continuous entertainment, regardlessof whether this is actually what the customers want, or whether the dancers are happy to do it.

Stage/House fee

The fee you pay on each shift to work. These vary from club to club and also depend on the shift you work. For example Monday lunch will be less than a Friday night. The fees are decided upon entirely by club management (without ever consulting dancers directly) and can be anything from £10 to £130-£150. A dancer working one night in central london can expect to pay at least £60-£70 to the club. Pubs are known for having lower fees than clubs.

Striptease

Slowly taking off your clothes to music. When done well, striptease is alluring and arousing for the viewer.

Table dance

Old style version of the private dance. It involves dancing at the table where a customer is sitting in the club, paying special attention to him/her. Traditionally this is non-contact and it is not in a private area.

The Frankenstein Game

A game enjoyed by bored punters, staff members and even strippers themselves, duringa particularly uneventful shift. A perfect girl is created in the minds of the participants from the body parts of all the girls present in the club at that moment in time i.e. “Crissie’s tits, Monica’s legs, Zoe’s arse” and so on.

The Jug of Salvation

That one jug that saves the shift. This usually occurs on a quiet shift, like a Monday lunch time, when you’ve spent most of the shift stupified with boredem dancing for five guys who can barely scrape £1 together each. You think you’ll go home with £30 but on the last jug some nice customer will put a £20 note in your jug. Or as people begin to get off work a group will come in meaning that you will actually make some money on your final dance.

The Sunday Worship

The Sunday Worship doesn’t happen very often now due to licencing laws. It was the only shift on Sunday from 1pm to 5pm with all the casualities from Saturday night; the Shoreditch hipsters being risque, the old men on their own with no one to cook a Sunday roast for them and surprised shoppers from Brick Lane market.

Twerking

Erotica dance using the hips and backside. Shaking and clapping buttocks and hips in a squat position, making the buttocks wobble rythmically, often to the beat of accompanying music.

VIP

Taking a customer to the VIP area where you talk, flirt, dance and generally give him/her your full attention for an agreed amount of time. Very often clubs have a special area reserved for VIP, and will charge a set fee, for both the customer and the dancer to use it. This can involve taking a percentage of the dancers fee, requiring the customer to buy a bottle of champagne or similar, or both. Some clubs will also dictate how many dances are allowed within this time, where the dancer can and can’t sit and often have security present to keep a watchful eye over the activity.

Zombie Apocalypse

This happens on Friday and Saturday nights when all the customers are blind drunk. They crowd around the stage transfixed, making sounds such as ‘woy oi!’…

Cancellations

Calling management to see if anyone has cancelled a shift to ask if you can cover it. Care in the Community Shift: Those shifts when you think to yourself “Am I actually working on a psychiatric ward?” When all the customers seem like they need a nurse or a therapist but have decided to come and share their issues with strippers instead.

Chasing the money

What dancers do when they want to earn more money and feel they will have better luck elsewhere. Some girls travel to different cities, countries and continents on the money- chasing mission.

Check in/Confirmation

Either on the day before your shift or the morning of your shift you text the management to confirm you will be there.

Commission

An amount of money that a club can get away with charging as a percentage of a dancer’s earnings. Using a variety of systems to control the venue, such as VIP rooms and dance vouchers, management can monitor how much a dancer is making from private dances. In some larger clubs it has even been known to have a member of staff working as a dance counter to record the number of private dances a girl has performed. Management decide on the amount of commission to take as a cut from whatever the dancer has made. Not all clubs charge commission, and it is unheard of in pubs. Those that do may or may not take a commission in addition to a house fee. Commission can vary from anything upto 50% (even 60% although this is rare).

Customer

A patron of strip clubs and pubs.

Dirty dancing

When a dancer breaks the rules of a club and allows too much to happen in the dance. Too much would involve letting the customer touch her, touching the customer, performing an actual sex act, such as fellatio, or vaginal penetration using fingers, bottles, sex toys or whatever is within reach. In some stricter clubs, that adhere to licensing conditions, dirty dancing includes floor work, crossing the boundary between dance area and customer (for example, dancer stepping one foot onto the customer’s seat to get closer).

Erotic dance

A sultry, sensual, sexually-charged dance form in which the performer doesn’t necessarily remove any clothing. This dance genre has seen a rise up into mainstream popular culture, from music videos to physical theatre.

Fines

An amount of money decided on by club management as an adequate reprimand for any type of misconduct from a dancer, such as: being late, going on holiday too long, chipped nails, chewing gum, using phones on shift, dirty dancing, poor appearance (hair, makeup, outfit etc) failing to check in/confirm a shift, not turning up to a shift, belligerence, failing to follow club procedures ie dance vouchers/funny money.

Floor Work

A method of dancing that includes the floor as a kind of stage in front of the customer (in the absence of a podium, or where the dance area is communal and simply a room lined with chairs). Dancers can lie down, roll, writhe spread their legs and move as they wish on the floor. A common move is to present a doggy-style position on all fours (also a good stance for twerking) facing away from the customer, already nude which allows a full view of the dancer’s private parts.

Funny Money / Dance Vouchers, Tokens or Tickets

A means by which a club can dictate how money actually changes hands between the dancer and customer, for the purposes of reaping a percentage of the dancers earnings. By imposing a rule that customers may not use cash to pay dancers, but must first purchase vouchers or tokens to the value of at least one private dance. If he pays by card the club is also likely to charge a percentage of this on top, up to 20%. e.g. 1 private dance costing £20 will actually cost £24. At the end of the shift dancers must cash in their vouchers, which is when the club takes their cut and returns the remaining cash. In the case of a club that charges 20% commission, 1 private dance costing £20, the dancer will actually earn £16. So the customer has paid £24, the dancer has earned £16 and the club keeps £8. (If a dancer does 20 dances the club makes £160, which is normally on top of a house fee that the dancer has already paid, and possibly an entry fee that the customer has already paid).

Grinding

Rubbing and gyrating your arse and crotch on a man’s lap/thighs. Grinding his genitals with your pelvis through his pants is optional. These days grinding is classed as dirty dancing.

Gynecology row

The front row! Men who are inevitably alone sitting up in front of the stage in a row, with little pillars of pound coins who spend hours and hours gawping at pussy with almost gynaelogical intent. They rarely engage in conversation and sometimes appear frightened of the prospect of being approached.

Jug collection

A tradition of the old school strip pubs. A dancer weaves her way through the club, collecting £1 from every customer before she appears on stage. The money is collected in a trad-style pint glass, made from thick glass and shaped like a mug. On busy nights you must have your wits about you, as customers often use tricks to avoid paying, such as disappearing to the toilet or using sleight of hand to drop in a 20p piece hoping we won’t notice.

Jug Dodger

This is a punter who knows he must put a pound in the jug but goes all out to avoid paying. Dancers are adept at spotting jug dodgers who’s behaviour will give him away. He will suddenly be going to the toilet or out to smoke when you are collecting and as soon as he hears the dancer announced on stage he will suddenly appear back in the pub, at the front of the stage.

Lap dance

An upclose and full contact dance with an individual customer that involves physical touch, sitting on or straddling a customers lap, and grinding. Not actually legal in the UK as the licencing law doesn’t allow contact between dancer and customer.

Lesbian Show

A private show featuring two or more dancers who for a negotiable fee will perform simulated or real bisexual acts on each other. These were more common-place before the licensing reform, as current rules have outlawed dancers making physical contact with anyone, including each other. This is definitely classed as dirty dancing and is now more likely to happen outside of licensed venues at private parties.

Motorboating

A humourous and somewhat ridiculous part of a lapdance, normally reserved for stag shows. The dancer straddles the customer’s lap and leans her breasts into his face, squashing them together to smother him with her tits and then sort of juggles them while bouncing her body up and down, to comically simulate a sex act. As this invariably provokes a cheerful repsonse, in most instances this is reserved as an act of fondness towards a customer, and only ever when the dancer has developed a sense of trust for him/her. i.e. when a group has paid well, and observed the no-touching rule, and she has actually enjoyed partying with them, this is often a kind of acknowledgment, a sort of slapstick dancer’s salute.

Pole dance

A highly skilled, creative, aerial peformance-art that has developed over the last 25 years in strip clubs, dance studios, sports clubs, and by progressive dancers of all disciplines.

Private dance

Modern version of the table dance. The dancer escorts the customer to an area designated for private dancing and performs a personal dance for him. These can be in booths or on a smaller podium with a pole. By law in England & Wales, this is a non-contact performance.

Private party

The unlicensed, word of mouth, invite only parties where anything goes. These parties feature proper lap dancing and dirty dancing, and used to take place in all manner of licensed and unlicensed venues, restaurant function rooms, basements, second floor bars etc. Nowadays they take place in private apartments, rented by the hour.

Punter

A more apt name for customer.

Regulars

The customers who come back! Some men have a favourite dancer who they will come back to see over and over again. The best regulars are the ones who respect the dancers’ time and job, play by the rules and pay without any fuss.

Sit downs

Occasionally a customer wishes to keep a particular dancer all to himself, and pays her to talk and keep him company. This usually happens in the VIP room, but can also occur anywhere in the public zones of the club, and can exist as an entirely private arrangement between the dancer and customer.

Sponsored Walk

The first dance of the shift when you are just warming up or the style of dancing you do if you are hungover. You have collected the money but you are too tired to do any pole tricks so just saunter from pole to pole to mirror and then roll about on the floor for a bit. If it’s the first dance of the day you do a lot of exaggerated poses to stretch out your limbs.

Stag Show

Fairly self-explanatory. Stag party arrive. Single out their preferred dancer(s). Negotiate over price and level of debauchery to be expected. Pay up. Dancer or dancers then employ a variety of measures to humiliate/entertain/arouse either the stag, or the whole group, using any combination of the following: ice-cubes, whipped cream, marshmallows, candle wax, whips, belts, spanking paddles, shaving cream, makeup, masks, fancy-dress, pieces of the stag’s clothing, and each other. Stag party leave with satisfactory contrivedmemories, and suitable material for the best man’s speech. Dancers have been paid a pretty penny for a few minutes of utter silliness. Everyone is happy. All is well.